If You Can’t Open, You Can’t Close

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closedthesale11-20-13Dan was hurting for clients.

A terrific business consultant and one of the top sales trainers out there, Dan’s work impressed

But too many of them “disappeared”
somewhere before or after the sales conversation.

Dan read books on closing, he took courses
on closing, he even practiced closing with his
wife until his wife told him “Enough already!”

Dan memorized the classic closes, such as the “Tie Down,” the “Ridiculous,” and the “Takeaway.”

But too many clients were still melting away.

What was wrong?

Dan wasn’t setting up the close.   At all.


Dan didn’t know that the sale begins at “Hello.”

If you can’t open, you can’t close –
as much and as often as you’d like.

When Dan met prospective clients, he’d say:

“I work with small business owners up to
$25 Million to eliminate overwhelm, straighten out
their distribution and cash flow, and increase their business.”

His posts and articles were educational,
with no stories so prospects could relate.

Dan was talking all about himself and his service.

  1. Dan did not realize that his prospects didn’t care about Dan, they cared about what Dan could do for them.
  2. He was not monetizing his service for them, so they did not instantly “see” how much money he could make them.
  3. He was not showing them a huge Before-and-After gap that would impress them with his expertise.
  4. He was not putting his results into stories – the ultimate sales tool.
  5. Dan talked too much –thus shutting off any anticipation, curiosity, intrigue, and anxiety that maybe Dan had tricks up his sleeve his prospects didn’t know about.
  6. Dan did nothing to arouse feelings in his prospects, and feelings are the only way the Old Brain (the real buyer) will become interested, and the only way prospects will want “more.”

Dan was not creating desire, anticipation, and leaving his
audience hungry for more – which is the heart of superb sales.

The sale begins at “hello.”

Dan said, “I give a great service.  Why do I have to sell people?
Why can’t they just read my articles and testimonials?”

Because they’re too busy.
Because it’s a buyer’s market.
Because you have to seduce your buyer – from the word Go.

After we worked together, the light bulb went on.

Dan began to talk in the language his prospects wanted to hear.

He finally used stories:

“When I met Mark, he was working 12-hour days, struggling to
meet payroll, and too busy to grow.  Six months later he brought
in over two million, and took his family to Italy for 2 weeks.”

His clients began to feel their own pain in his stories.

And they began to see their salvation in his results.

Dan created a whole series of stories to use in order to heighten the
interest, curiosity, desire and anxiety for what he did.

He stopped taking too much.

He began to “romance” his prospects, feeding them
tantalizing bits of information in conversations and emails
that aroused their interest to a fever pitch.

By the time the sales conversation came around, there
was no need to “close.”

It had already happened.

Dan increased his signing rate by 50% and he’s still

And he no longer worries about the close.

Thanks for reading, and tune in next time.

-Ann Convery

The #1 Monster That Kills Your Business

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This article was born from a fascinating discussion with Howie Jacobson,
author of Adwords for Dummies, brilliant leadership coach,
alternative lifestyle ambassador and roving genius.

What is perhaps the single biggest thing that stops you in business?

Overwhelm Attacks.

This is frequently a trauma response. It kills initiative.

In men it looks like, “I don’t know what to do, or where to go next.”

In women it looks like, “I don’t see a path, I only see
the top of Everest. And I can’t move.”

Your inner impulse, from which all action springs,
is trodden underfoot.

In other words, your own, excited,
“Wow! I can see where I’m going and I love it!”
response which fires you up to finish your projects, is crushed.

This response is an instant, overwhelming, freeze.
You can’t make a move. You don’t see any moves.
It looks so exhausting you’d rather pull the covers over your head.

You can stay here for months. Even years.

You need your own pace to achieve,
time to get things done, and a feeling of control.
Overwhelm, or what you see as overwhelm, can stop that cold.

I took 100 hours of street-fight training, and the
problem is very similar. When a mugger approaches a woman,
he usually terrifies her with ugly language, frightening behavior,
and maybe a knife. Women freeze, and by the time they come out of it,
damage has occurred.

What my 100 hours of training taught me was to
get past the freeze response. Here’s how.

What the woman doesn’t know is that the mugger…

1) expects no resistance and
2) doesn’t have a second move

All he knows is to throw her to the ground.

But — from the ground is where women have all the power to fight him off.

Women’s pelvic muscles and legs are as strong as a man’s arms.
That’s why a 5’6” woman (me) can knock out a 6’4” man.
Over 100 times.

What you need to know is that Overwhelm Attacks
can be just a temporary response brought on by
past trauma (“I was never good at technology”) or cultural beliefs:

  • I’m too artistic for business.
  • I became a doctor so I wouldn’t have to go into business.
  • I’m too spiritual for business
  • I’m drowning! Get me out of here!

Your mind on Overwhelm is like the mugger.
It expects no resistance. It doesn’t have a second move.

You can get past it. You can melt the freeze.
You can stop the overwhelm.
You can get up to cruising speed again.

How do you stop the Overwhelm Attack?

1. Just like my fight class, ground yourself.

When you are in Overwhelm, you do not know you have a body.
But your body can bring you out of this.

Immediately do something physical. Jump, walk away
from your desk, go outside if you can, touch your arms and legs.
You are not, at that moment, in your body.
Keep moving, keep touching your arms and legs until
you feel a shift in your mind.
Your body will ground you and bring you into the present.

In the present, you have choices. You can make a move.

2. Call a trusted friend and tell them you just had an
Overwhelm Attack.

Have them spend 10 minutes
with you breaking down your giant task into the
smallest possible steps. Ludicrously small.
Like naming a folder.

3. Do the first step within 2 hours.

The pattern created by Overwhelm Attacks may have etched a
deep neurological pathway in your brain.

A series of small successes will overcome that pattern.

One small success per day, day after day, and you will feel like a winner.
Nothing can stop you.

Overwhelm will learn that it’s can’t win, and eventually,
you will not have these attacks any longer.

And at this point – there’s no stopping you!

How to Make Success “Come” to You

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“You don’t need to go to the mountain, because the mountain is willing and able to come to you.

But will it actually come to you?

Yes, but only if you meet two conditions.

The mountain will pick itself up and move all the way to where you are if you make a lot of room for it and if you are prepared to work with the changes its arrival will bring. “

A friend sent me this quote from Rob Brezsny.  I love it.

What would it mean to make room for the mountain?

What’s the mountain?

Your 6 or 7-figure business, your 6 or 7-figure lifestyle, your best seller, your VIP speech, your $15K client.

Will it really come to you?

Yes, There are businesses that have exploded with clients, books that got a miraculous pass all the way to the best-seller list, big speeches that appeared “out of nowhere,” clients that insist on paying you what you’re really worth.

How do you make room for it?

Say “NO” a lot more often.

Remember Warren Buffet: “The difference between successful people and very successful people is that very successful people say “no” to almost everything.

Making Room at Work

  • Re-route all the emails you glance at every morning that make you nervous.
  • No more Bright Shiny Objects.  Nothing is going to “save” you so stop looking.
  • No more buying products you don’t need within 24 hours.
  • Throw out the downloads you’ll never have time to look at.
  • Stop watching cool videos that might help you in 6 months.
  • Let go of the deadlines in your head.  They’re killing your creativity.

It matters that you have a lot of junk just sitting on your hard drive, your desk, the floor.

It’s taking up space in your head.

Get rid of it.

Making Room in Your Mind

We all know the negative thoughts such as “I’m not worth it, I don’t deserve it…”

But there are other negative thoughts you may have to clear out – such as the desire to be saved, to have someone do it for you, to wait until you’re ready, until it’s perfect.

  • When my ship comes in…
  • When I find the right system…
  • I can’t do (a new site, videos, speaking) yet because…
  • I’m not ready yet…
  • There’s no one to do all this work but me…
  • I’m in overwhelm, I’m stuck, I can’t move…
  • If I just spend $20,000 with this guru, I’ll get out of this mess…

Don’t throw money at your problems.

Great Short Cut:  Use Your Body

Your body is the greatest shortcut to changing your thoughts you’ll ever have.

  • Get up an hour earlier.
  • Stand up at your desk every 20 minutes (prevents premature death.  Yes, really.)
  • Stand in your Wonder Woman or Superman stance every hour for 3 minutes.
  • If you don’t work out, do anything to get moving –  joomba, walking, anything.
  • When you force yourself to that gym, or to climb that hill, or those stairs every day,
    your mind thinks, “Gee, the boss is serious.  We’d better get going.”

You will feel different.  You will focus on what you do well..

Your mind will follow your body.  Take advantage of this fact.

The More You Let Go, The Bigger the Prize

Let go of clients who need too much, drive you crazy, or are slow payers

Be ruthless about time-wasting activities, people, and thoughts.

Stop that thing you’re doing that you did last year, and the year before that,

because it didn’t work then either.

And now…

Prepare for the Changes the Mountain will Bring

You may have to:

  • Grow from a struggler to a leader.
  • Hire the right coach and stop resisting them.
  • Get up at 5:00 to write your book.
  • Get a manager and let them run your day-to-day operations.
  • Set steel boundaries with clients, employees, and colleagues.
  • Withstand the anxiety of friends who don’t like your new boundaries.
    Stop waiting to be saved.  There is no one to save you now but you.
  • Experience scary highs and even scarier lows that you didn’t know existed.
  • Learn to play “with the Big Girls and Boys” and see how they do it differently.


  • You will have bigger problems to grow into – tax bites, scaling, new teams.
  • Your friends may not understand your problems.
  • Some of your friends and colleagues may fade away.
  • You may be bombarded  by wannabes who no longer fit your business model.
  • You may wonder how you can repeat your success next year.

And Fun – Remember Fun?

Taking and enjoying free time may make you anxious at first.

Stop focusing on the daily grind.

Start focusing on your exit strategy, your legacy, and having fun again.


Are you ready for the mountain to come to you?

Good. Let it come.

How Spielberg, Lady Gaga and 5 Others Used Failure to Get to Success

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What if the secret to success, is failure?

Falling down and getting up, falling down and getting up, until
you’re flying?

Take a look at these legends below.

They didn’t frame failure as “failure” – just a speed bump.

How do you frame it?

J.K. Rowling (Harry Potter)

A welfare single mom, she sketched out Harry Potter
in pubs and her family’s home.  Now she is described as
wealthier than the Queen of England.

Sly Stallone

Stallone had to sell his dog for $25 to keep the electricity
on as a starving actor.  The Rocky script was rejected
hundreds of times.  United Artists would only pay him $35,000
if he insisted on starring in it himself, and a percentage of the profits.
He bought his dog back and made the film.
It grossed over $200,000,000.
His sequels grossed over a billion.

Lady Gaga

She got dropped by a major record label after 3 months.
As of 2013, she’s sold about 125 million singles.

Steven Spielberg

He was rejected from USC film school – twice.
In 1994 USC dedicated a building to him as a
thank you for his donations.


She was fired from Baltimore’s WJZ-TV for being too
“emotionally involved” with the stories she reported.
She hired a lawyer and a PR guy.   Today she’s worth 2.9 Billion.

Albert Einstein

Einstein did not speak until he was 4 years old and
did not read until he was 7. His parents thought he was
“sub-normal,” and his teachers described him as “mentally slow.”
He was expelled from school and refused admittance
to the Zurich Polytechnic .
He did eventually learn to speak and read.
Even to do a little math.

Michael Jordan

Michael Jordan was cut from his high school basketball team.
Jordan once observed, “I’ve failed over and over again in my life.
That is why I succeed. “

Marilyn Monroe

In 1944, she was told by a modeling agency,
“You’d better learn secretarial work or else get married.”

 “The women give up.”

When the New Yorker editors were asked why they published more
men than women, they replied, “We have to turn people down, we
get thousands of submissions.  The women give up.  The men keep coming.”

Studies indicate that men play more team sports, which teaches them to
fail and get up and play again.  Many women don’t get this training.
Time to change, don’t you think?

Final Words:

“Our greatest glory is not in never falling but in rising every time we fall.” – Confucius

“Never, never, never, never, give up.”  – Churchill

6 Perks Your High-End Clients Will Thank You For

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Ann Ezine High Paying Client

Would you rather work with ten $20,000 clients or eighty $2500 clients?

Yes, I said eighty.

The question is kind of no-brainer, isn’t it?

High-end clients.

They’re the bedrock of a lucrative, less time-consuming business.

But how do you get them?

How do you keep them?

Filling your business with high-end clients requires focus, skill and smarts.

But here’s a start-up guide.

    Where Do You Find Them?

Jeff, a business coach, was obsessed with trying to find where his high-end clients were “hiding.”

Maybe if he hung around the yacht club, or polo matches?

(He seriously considered this.)

It wasn’t until he stopped asking where they were, and created a dazzling program that solved a tough problem for million-dollar business owners, that he began to sign high-retainer clients.

1. Create The High-End Program First.

This seems so simple, yet few people take the time to do it. Go ahead and create a $10,000 or $15,000 program.

You don’t have to offer it.  Just create it, See what it feels like.

If you wanted to attract people who drive Ferraris, you’d sell Ferraris, right?

Not Volkswagens.

So build your Ferrari.

(Apologies to Bug lovers everywhere).

Here are 6 elements of a High-End program…

2. High-End Clients Expect Quality.

High-end clients do not care for cheap solutions – they don’t trust them.

If you are at the top of your game and you offer an A-list packages, your wealthy clients expect to pay your fees.

They may want a deal, but they are not shocked or turned off by the price.

Mahatma Gandhi said, “It is the quality of our work which will please God and not the quantity.”

Quality attracts high-paying clients.

They can go anywhere for their service.  Why should they come to you?

Add details to your package that make it outstanding,



  • How many hours?
  • VIP day?
  • Assessment?
  • Special 2-Hour Intake?
  • Email support?
  • Ongoing Client appreciation*
  • Ongoing Client assessment of wins and gains
  • Access to your other programs?
  • Special Mastermind Weekend(s) with other high-end clients.

What else can you add?

3. Show Them The Love.

The biggest reason high-end clients drift off to another expert is because they don’t feel the love.

* Make sure that your high-end clients continue to feel appreciated, cared for, thought about, and get “special” attention sometimes.

Measure your progress and celebrate results together.

Be sure they see what they are accomplishing with you.

Otherwise they might miss their own achievement.

I’m not talking about babying a high-maintenance nightmare client.

I’m talking about never getting complacent.

It’s a pitfall that will lose you great clients.

4.  Look Like a Million

You, your site, and everything about you is first-class.

Reassure prospects who look for and trust quality.

Look like you could walk into your client’s boardroom, or polo club, and “pass.”

(It’s OK — you can look like a total nerd, just look and sound like a brilliant one.)

5. Use Media

If you have any media at all, use it everywhere.

As far as validation goes, it’s a “10.”

Media is so amazingly powerful it will bring you attention at twice the speed – online or off.

If you’ve been featured on local TV, radio and in print, you “must be” good.

Everyone unconsciously believes this, so use it to your advantage if you can.

Use any media.  Online as well as off.

All media is validating and will bring you a faster response.

6. Get Rid of Your “I Don’t Belong” Thoughts.

Here are thoughts that will take you out every time:

  • “OMG she makes $350K and I don’t.”
  • “I don’t belong in her class/club/social circle.”
  • “She probably spends $10K a year at the dermatologist.”

So how could she possibly be your client?

These thoughts are nasty and will keep you playing small forever.

If you don’t make a million a year, how could you possibly help someone who does?


High-Paying clients have bleeding, scary problems.

They just have different problems.

Focus your first-class solution on the problems that they will pay to solve.

If you’re a relationship coach, can you help an unhappy millionaire couple?

Of course you can.

If you’re a marketing expert, can you help a multi-millionaire business owner whose marketing is dead in the water?

Of course you can.

Again, you have to look, act and believe that you can serve your High-End clients..

And your program has to offer the value they expect, and then some..

How to Build a High-End Business

Stay tuned!

A Hot Meal, Safe Bed and Warm Socks – Why they boost your client roll, and are steps towards happy clients

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Warm Socks         During the holidays, I got a lot of catalogues and requests for donations.

Here are two donation requests.  Which one would you choose?

1.  “Make a difference this Holiday.”

2.  “Give a hot meal, safe bed and warm socks.”

I ripped open the second one.  Why?

Because I could see the hot meal, safe bed and warm socks.

But more.  I didn’t just see them, I could feel them.

I could smell the meal, I could feel the bed covers and the fuzzy socks.

But this isn’t an article about fuzzy socks.  It’s about what makes you act, and what doesn’t.

In one line, that unknown copywriter hit all my “buy buttons,” and knew what steps to take to eventually make me a happy client:

Here are the buttons he hit, and ten more juicy, gotta-read-it headlines:

  1. I saw “what’s in it for me”, because these things  made me feel good.
  2. The big gap between a homeless life and my own stirred me deeply.
  3. A hot bed and warm socks are street language. “Make a difference” makes me think, and I NEVER spontaneously act when I have to think first.  (No one does.)
  4. I could see that bed and those socks.  Again, I didn’t have to think.
  5. I was moved.  I felt warm, compassionate, and caring towards people I didn’t even know.  My feelings were on high alert. I wrote the check, again, without thinking.

Do you think these 8 valuable words did their job?

How does your marketing stack up?

Here are some more juicy headlines I stole from magazines.

See if they light up your “I want more” buttons:

  • Bradley Cooper Has Balls! (calm down, he’s playing pool)
  • Guru Syndrome: Why the Rich Love to Be Told What to Do
  • Big-Time Poker with Leo, Ben and Toby!
  • What Does the Vatican Have to Hide?
  • Cougar Nights in Silicon Valley
  • Barbarians at the Dinner Table: Why Eating Out is so Incredibly Annoying These Days
  • Thousands of Guys Reveal What Really Flips Their Switches
  • The Most Dangerous Thing a Girl Can Say Yes to

How can words like these boost your client roll?

Because they speak directly to the brain that buys.

Or clicks through, or asks for more.

People buy in, or choose you, from a feeling state.

These headlines bypass thinking, which slows down the process.

Or worse, stops it altogether.

No, you don’t want emotionally panting morons to robotically buy your offers.

But there is a subtle process that everyone, even the Einsteins among us, goes through to get what they want.

And it has to do with

  • “What’s in it for me”
  • A Big Gap
  • Street Language.
  • Seeing the Picture
  • Feelings on High Alert

Ultimately, people will sign with you because of how you made them feel.  Even after they’ve looked you over and thought about it.

And to enroll a client, a number of feelings are involved.

To entroll a client, and keep them a happy client, involves even more feelings.

But getting their attention is the first step.

So how do you make them feel?

9 Steps to Become a Thought Leader – And a Media Darling

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Become a thought leader.

So many people call themselves thought leaders…
and they’re not.

Here is a map of how to do it the right way from my close colleague and friend, and guest blogger, Susan Harrow.

1. Cultivate an opinion. Thought leaders have opinions. They shape a story. They position facts in a context. They make statistics come alive by interpreting them. We value people who give us perspective on things that matter most in our culture today.

Sheryl Sandberg, COO of Facebook and their first woman to sit on their board, said of the differences about how men and women respond to taking credit for their success, “If you ask men why they did a good job, they’ll say, ‘I’m awesome. Obviously. Why are you even asking?’ If you ask women why they did a good job, what they’ll say is someone helped them, they got lucky, they worked really hard.”

To follow her lead take a look at your field or industry and find something that irks or inspires you and start to formulate some opinions about it. Then put those thoughts into a press release.

Folk singer Joan Baez said, “I’ve never had a humble opinion. If you’ve got an opinion, why be humble about it?” Thought leaders aren’t afraid to voice a strong opinion. The media seek guests who have opinions that help us ponder what’s important.


2. Make a prediction.  Can you see the future? Look into your private crystal ball and share it in a press release. Ten years ago I told my literary agent that getting on TV and grasping at fame was going to become a national obsession. I wrote up a book proposal about how to get on TV, supplied anecdotes from my own experience as a publicist and media coach, and gathered statistics to show that this was going to be a hot new trend. He pitched my idea to all the top New York publishing houses.

Alas, the traditional book industry didn’t buy it. It was too far ahead of its time. But guess what? Didn’t that prediction come true? Practically everyone is now scrabbling for his 15 seconds of fame. New reality TV shows are popping up every year. The Fishbowl Effect has become our current reality where your iPhone video can make national news.

Know that when you make a prediction you’re intrinsically ahead of your time – and most likely will get disapproval and pushback. No worries. Time will bear you out. The important thing is to stand by your word, continue to accumulate evidence and keep touting your prediction during your media appearances.


3. Shape thinking. Keep up on current events. Thought leaders can comment on national radio and TV on events as they happen. They are the first people the media call to put a story in perspective, to help shape thinking. They are often the people who pose the questions to ponder. They don’t necessarily have all the answers. What they have is a point of view that helps others to consider consequences, options, and directions to difficult or perplexing problems.

Robert Reich, professor of public policy at UC Berkeley, often comments on political and social problems such as how public higher education is being starved which will result in a shrinking middle class. His clearly expressed and statistically well-supported opinions are regularly heard on MSNBC and NPR. He’s a great example of someone who is personal, energetic, and captivating. I’m particularly endeared by how he bounces up when he can’t contain his energy as he delivers his message.

Your delivery and demeanor is every bit as important as the words you speak and can influence people subconsciously. Thought leaders are aware of how they are being perceived and work on refining their inner consciousness and outer appearance. How can you start to shape a conversation that’s at the heart of your business or industry and at the same time reflect who you are and what you think?


4. Have a philosophy.
Have you noticed how many people have written a manifesto? It’s kind of becoming de rigueur. But many aren’t worth reading. They are trite or light. Your audience wants to know not only what you believe, but what you believe in. They want a philosophy that dives into their deepest longings — things that they feel that haven’t been expressed directly in a way that they can understand.

Manifestos are a sort of formalized philosophy. Wikipedia defines philosophy as “In more casual speech, by extension, ‘philosophy’ can refer to “the most basic beliefs, concepts, and attitudes of an individual or group”.

I love TED favorite Brene Brown’s The Wholehearted Parenting Manifesto, her leadership manifesto and my friend, photographer/writer Andrea Scher’s Superhero Manifesto. They are heartfelt, revere beauty and are holy without pretention.

During every media appearance you want to make sure that your philosophy comes through loud and clear in a story, vignette or example so your audience has a sense of who you are. One of my favorite sayings is by Gandhi, “My life is my message.”

When everything you do, say, are and think from your words to your website is in alignment then you’re completely congruent and your life becomes your message. This is what I have my clients and sound bite course participants put into practice before ever sending a press release out to the media. Often publicity hopefuls want to rush their offer to the media before all the pieces are in place. And that’s a big mistake. A reputation is easy to ruin and hard to regain.

In her media appearance on Oprah’s Super Soul Sunday, Brene Brown told a story about her daughter, Ellen. To my best recollection she said that Ellen’s teacher called her up to tell her she could tell whose daughter Ellen was by how she handled an incident in art class. As I remember it the teacher said, “You’re messy.” Ellen sat up straight and said, “No, I’m not messy. I’ve just made a mess.”

Brown told this story to illustrate a point about self-talk and not calling ourselves names or saying derogatory things about the core of us, but to focus on behavior instead of being. It shows you that Brown is walking her talk by transmitting her values and behaviors to her daughter and it gives you a sense of who she is. Your philosophy should shine through your stories in a natural way in every media appearance.


5. Spearhead a movement.  My client, journalist and author David Sheff who wrote the #1 New York Times best-selling book Beautiful Boy, just wrote his second book called Clean, Overcoming Addiction and Ending America’s Greatest Tragedy. The title itself is an opinion. Sheff thinks that addiction is the worst problem in the U.S. today. You can tell immediately that he’s serious about this topic and wants to make an impact on this epidemic.

On his website he has a link to sign a petition to send to President Obama to end the war on drubs and declare war on addiction. Right next to that he has a link to an organization called Brian’s Wish to pull people together into a national movement to end addiction.

Sheff believes that we’re fighting the wrong war and he is making his opinion known – backed with five years of research and facts.

He’s just started his book tour and has already been on The Last Word with Lawrence O’Donnell, NPR’s Fresh Air and Weekend Edition to discuss his views and to shift American opinion with the facts, stories and statistics in his book, speeches, and media appearances.

I media trained him to insure that he incorporated his most important points into every interview since he especially wanted to talk about this new movement.

We also wanted to make sure he could stand firm on his controversial beliefs when challenged. We practiced worst-case scenario questions and surprise ones too so he could maintain his equanimity and stay on point during each media appearance.

The media is interested in people who have inspired a movement. It shows that the topic has enduring value and interest if a substantial number of people have joined it. Spearheading a movement is so much more interesting than just claiming you have a big following. A movement shifts thought into action to create real and lasting change.


6. Be controversial.  Another client of mine, Dr. Sara Gottfried, a Harvard trained integrative physician, science nerd, yogini and author of the New York Times best-seller The Hormone Cure, speaks out on the overuse of pharmaceuticals for peri-menopausal and menopausal women. She says of women dealing with hormonal issues such as depression, lack of sleep, weight gain, mind fog, low sex drive, “You won’t find the answer in the bottom of a pill bottle.”

Gottfried takes a stand against the practice many physicians have to medicate their patients to appease the problem without seeking the core issue or root cause that’s the source of the complaint. Instead she advocates lifestyle shifts: “How to think, eat, move and supplement.”

Once you take a strong stance you can expect to be pitted against someone with the opposite view during your radio or TV interviews – because friction makes for good TV. Audiences love to see people pitted against each other because sparks fly and unexpected things happen — which equal good ratings.

If you want to be controversial you also need to be prepared to be challenged and able to stay on message with equanimity and grace no matter how forceful or hostile the host or other guests become.


7. Play both sides.  While you can choose to be controversial, you can also choose to appoint yourself the voice of reason and examine both sides of an issue. Susan Freinkel, a journalist who wrote the book, Plastic: a Toxic Love Story, began an experiment that turned into an investigation of how plastic affects our behavior, our environment and our lives. The premise: To go one day without touching anything plastic. What she discovered?  It was impossible — starting with her toothbrush and toilet.

Instead of taking one side to the story – plastic is evil. She explored how plastic is both a boon and a bane to the way we live in a New York Times Op Ed piece. In one sentence she played both sides of the topic: “In other words, plastics aren’t necessarily bad for the environment; it’s the way we tend to make and use them that’s the problem.” Op Ed pages thrive on people who take a strong stand on one side of an issue as well as those who can shed light on both sides in an intelligent, thoughtful or provocative way.

On Fresh Air, she discussed both sides of this fiery debate with a level head. In other media appearances she backed up her findings with solid statistics and also by moving fascinating facts into the conversation like: “The average person is never more than three feet from something made of plastic.” And, “In 1960, the average American consumed 30 pounds of plastics a year. Today, just 50 years later, Americans consume on average 300 pounds a year.” Here is something a bit startling: “Just because a plastic is made of plants doesn’t make it ‘green.’”

By moderating the positives and negatives, by sharing information not widely known and educating us, and by using stories and statistics, you can become a trusted neutral source for change.


8. Coin a term.  During her appearance on The Ricki Lake show Dr. Sara Gottfried reached into her prop basket and pulled out a gleaming diamond Tiara, put it on her head and offered it to Lake, who said she didn’t want to take it off. Gottfried called taking uninterrupted time for yourself, Tiara Time.™ It’s catchy and easy to remember. Can’t you just imagine saying to your BFF, “I need some Tiara Time™ right NOW.”


9. Declare your vision.
Your vision is how you see the world in the future. It’s what you’re aspiring to in the big picture. It incorporates how you are going to serve. For example, I’d like to see Aikido, a type of Japanese Martial Arts, which I’ve been training in for four years, incorporated into every school in the world.

The principles of Aikido, The Way of Harmony, work as a way to polish the spirit, to turn lead into gold. The founder, Morihei Ueshiba says, “True victory is self-victory; let that day arrive quickly!” I believe that, through this practice we can eradicate bullying and practice respect, compassion, and self-mastery on a daily basis in our hearts, homes, schools, and communities.

Declaring your vision during a media interview moves it out in a big way into the public eye. Not only have you taken a stand but you give thousands or millions of people a chance to take a stand with you. That in itself creates powerful change.

The point of being a thought leader isn’t just to get more media appearances, more sales, more followers, or more money. It’s an opportunity to make great shifts inside yourself and out in the world. So if you aspire to taking yourself and your business forward in small or big ways, then focus on these seven things. And even if it isn’t in your nature to be on national TV or to gain an international platform, just pondering these points will give you clarity for your business as you grow and change.

Are you a thought leader? Tell us why.


Susan Harrow is a top media coach, PR expert & author of Sell Yourself Without Selling Your Soul (HarperCollins). For 24 years she’s worked with clients like rock stars and celebrity chefs to CEOs of Fortune 500 companies, as well as entrepreneurs, authors, coaches, consultants, and speakers. She shows her clients and course participants how to double or triple their business with PR by using sound bites effectively.



Whether you want to be a thought leader, a celebrity in your niche, or just get more clients, customers and sales, you’re invited to a FREE webinar that will show you how to double your business in 90 days using Susan’s amazing short-cuts. Register now (It’s free!)

7 Thoughts That Speed Up Your Success

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Recently I spent the weekend at a Big Name event in Las Vegas.

It was fantastic.

And I noticed something peculiar when talking to dozens of entrepreneurs.

Some tell me what they do.

Others tell me they have a company.

The ones who tell me what they do – “I empower women to release their doubt and achieve the impossible”  don’t talk about marketing, sales, or numbers.

The ones who tell me they have a company talk about their sales, their growth, and their goals.

The secret problem with loving what you do is that you may never really build a solid business around it.

And get successful.

Here are 7 Thoughts that will speed up your success, right now.

1.   “I’ll be successful when…”


Say “I am successful now.”  Do you know that?
If you are still waiting for the “feeling” of success, in order to go ahead and be successful, you will wait forever.  Stop waiting.
Practice feeling it now.  Until it’s second nature.

2. “If I’m successful, no one will come along and take care of me…”


“I take beautiful care of myself.”
When you learn to take care of yourself, in every area of your life, you will attract people who will astonish you, and you will no longer be using relationships as excuses not to be successful.

3. “I want to be wealthy but I just can’t see how.”


“I am wealthy.  The money will start to show up in (You set the date) ten months.” Do this: Describe how you learned to be wealthy.  Tell a friend, in detail, what being wealthy has taught you.  Watch what happens to your energy.

4. “If I’m really focused on money and numbers, I won’t be spiritual, or I won’t be a real artist.”


Shakespeare was a superb businessman who ended up the wealthiest man in Stratford.  Mozart was the first “freelance” musician. TS Elliott was a banker.
Picasso was a superb businessman, as are Oprah,  Mick Jagger, Bob Dylan, and David Bowie. God is in the numbers, too.  And the spreadsheets.

5.  “I’ve never been good at marketing/money/business but I know I have a fabulous future ahead.”


“In spite of all my thoughts to the contrary, I am a whiz at money management, and I love business because I make it work for me.”
You’re not living here, in the present.  You’re living in the past or some hazy future.  You can’t take any action unless you are present. You cannot attract the people you need to be successful if you are living in the past.  Or a vague, dreamy future. Spend one week not referring to your past, at all.

6.  “In order to be successful I have to get up earlier and I have to work smarter and I have to, have to, have to…”


“I stayed up til midnight preparing that speech, my investments are spiking, things are popping.  I’m tired but excited. It is what it is.”
The Victim wants you to stay with her, where you don’t “have to “ do all that exhausting stuff to be successful. She’ll hold your hand, massage your back and make you feel good.  She just doesn’t want you to leave.   You can’t take her with you. Start saying “I get to” not “I have to.”

7. “I know I have a big vision inside because everyone in my class sees it and I get thrilled just thinking about it.”


“I am halfway to my goal of a published book and speaking career and I can see the finish line.”
Where are you getting gratification right now?
A special class?  Your clients maybe?  Your partner, friends?  If you are getting secret gratification here, you won’t seek it elsewhere.  It doesn’t feel like success, but “it’ll do.”  Let go of your secret applause. Seek the real thing.

8.  BONUS!  “People tell me I have brilliant gifts but I just can’t seem to get it all together and make real money…”


Either you need a good coach, or you are putting your ladder against the wrong mountain. If your heart is not in what you are doing, you will never reach the success you desire.  Did you know you have a heart brain?  You do. What does your heart brain say about your life, right now?  How about following its advice for 7 days?

Why Your Leads are Ticked Off At You (A Guide to Lead Nurturing)

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The odds of making contact with a lead increases 100x if called within 5 minutes.  (Source: Lead Response Management Study)

The chances of qualifying a lead are 21x better if called within 5 minutes.  (Source: Lead Response Management Study)

Research shows that 35-50% of sales go to the vendor that responds first.  (Source: InsideSales.com)

Only 1 in 50 deals are struck at a first meeting.  (Source: The Marketing Donut)

63% of people requesting information on your company today will not purchase for at least 3 months – and 20% will take more than 12 months to buy.  (Source: The Marketing Donut)

Companies that excel at lead nurturing generate 50% more sales-ready leads at 33% lower cost.  (Source: Forrester Research)

Nurtured leads make 47% larger purchases than non-nurtured leads. (Source: Aberdeen Research)

2% of sales are made on the first contact, 3% on the second, 5% on the third, & 10% on the fourth. (Source: The Marketing Donut)

80% of sales are made on the 5th to 12th contact after the first meeting. (Source: The Marketing Donut)

44% of salespeople give up after 1 follow up. (Source: The Marketing Donut)


Social Media

93% of businesses and marketers have profiles on social media.  (Source: Beta21)

On average, companies respond to only 30% of social media fans’ feedback.  (Source: Social Bakers)

Approximately 46% of online users rely on social media when making a purchase decision. (Source: Nielsen)

Taken from

So… do you treat your leads and prospects as carefully as you would a first date
with someone you really like?  Do you understand that this is a crucial part of lead nurturing?

Can you see why your leads are ticked off at you if you give up after the first or second or third try?

They like to be courted, just like you do.

They like to get to know you.  They like to buy when it’s their decision.

Try treating your lead generation system like a caring date scenario, with a great outcome in mind.

They’re not “leads”.  They’re people.

Treat them like someone you really want a relationship with.

It can make a huge difference to your income when you do.

6 Special Secrets of Bonding with Someone You Just Met

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Rudolph Nureyev

When I was a teenager in London, I saw the famous dancer Rudolph Nureyev in Swan Lake with his legendary partner, Margot Fonteyn.

After the show I stood outside the stage door in awe. Finally this slight, red-haired Russian guy emerged. It was him!

In my rush to bond with him, his brilliance, and the magic he had just made…

I stepped on his foot.


His feet were probably insured at Sotheby’s for $5 Million each.+*

He gave me a wild, startled look and hurried off.

This article is dedicated to all of you who’ve blown it once or twice when you meet a V.I.P.  Or even just a friendly stranger.  It’s all about knowing the SIX Special Secrets as to how to bond with anyone you’ve just met.


1.   Magic Trick:  To closely bond someone to you and get them on your side, learn to tell them jokes in the cadence and rhythm and timing THEY like.

As you talk, ask them about their favorite joke.  A little later, tell them your favorite joke in their style.

They will have no idea why they like you so much.

2. When it’s interpersonal, use a “motivation towards” rather than a “motivation away.”

“Motivation away” is all those internet sales letters that tell you about how much pain you have.

3. “Motivation towards” is based on jokes, education, and permission.

  • Tell jokes in their style.
  • Ask them for education.  Say:
    “From my perspective this is what I bring to the table.  I want to find out from your perspective if this is equally viable…”
    If they say “No,” follow up with “Could you suggest anybody?”
  • Ask for permission.  “Could I ask you…” Or, “If you can reply to this email, I will get back to you immediately…”


4.  Only after you have created relationship, tell someone you’re not doing something, then do it.

“I’m not putting this on you, but do you think this is a good idea?”

5.   Watch body language for a response: nostril flare, dilated pupils, carotid arteries, skin flush, how they’re leaning, head nods, sudden stillness – these indicate real interest.

6.    Show your warts.  They’re a great way to build relationship.

These are advanced interpersonal skills that anyone can use to create a solid relationship in ten minutes.  And these special secrets aren’t as hard to use as you might think!

Want to try one and let me know?

If you want to see just how powerful the mind can be, watch Derren Brown on You Tube.  He is one of the greatest NLP and Waking Hypnosis masters in the world.